my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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