Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
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I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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