We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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