How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize