They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
