it's too hot outside to masturbate.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
