I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
