theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Randomize
