the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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