Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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