i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
