Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Someone signed my nipple.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
