And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
