weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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