...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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