First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
