i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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