If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
