You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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