Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
