After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
