dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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