He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize