so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
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If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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