stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
