I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
