it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
