why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
no. you can't hotbox the world.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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