The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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