Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
