sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
