smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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