What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
