yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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