Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
