I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize