I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize