benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
