This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
