will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
