I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
