I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
