I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
