I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
