I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize