it was like eating out sand paper
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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