do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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