actually, I'm a sock model
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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