Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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