i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
