I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
