Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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