dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
