I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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