he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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