you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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