The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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