i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
