Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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